When your pregnant, gaining weight and being big is okay. Post pregnancy being big and over weight is not okay. Nobody thinks your cute anymore and you really don't feel good when trying to squeeze into jeans. I'm done with the extra weight! I don't feel good when I look at myself in the mirror and the task of finding something to wear in the morning is miserable.
Friends and family always say, "you look great!" but I know I don't. A random man walking across the crosswalk in front of my car Monday morning confirmed this. He yelled out that I was fat and needed to go on a diet.... Along with several other lovely words. After hearing this, I kinda went numb. This was the first time I had ever been called fat. No tears came... Just guilt and anger that I had kept this weight for so long.
I weighed 130 pounds when I got married. My last appointment at the doctors before Brenna arrived, I weighed 220. I had gained close to 100 pounds with my pregnancy. After having Brenna, nursing didn't work out and the weight just didn't come off. I have been to scared to weigh myself since my last doctors appointment, 6 weeks after having Brenna. I weighed 190. That leaves me to still loose a whopping 60 pounds!
I started a better diet Monday December 26th. No more sugar! This means soda has to go. I'm starting to eat breakfast and then eat small meals/snacks every 3-4 hours. I'm focusing on eating fresh fruits and vegetables...no canned or frozen.
I am hopeful that I can loose these extra pounds and start to feel like myself again. I want to fit back in my clothes again, I want to feel like Melinda again.
